GelzisaMonster.

irony

2010-07-14T12:33:00.001-04:00

Seriously? You're mad? Aww. Poor you, I didn't come running to you when something bad happened to me. Sound familiar? How about the fact that I have every reason to hate you, but I don't? The fact that we've stayed friends because I'm the one that's always asking how you're doing and what's going on in your life? Or the fact that I'm ALWAYS there for you, I always listen, lend a shoulder if you need it. I've always been exactly what you've wanted from me. And the one time I really need you, you get mad at me because I didn't come running to tell you something? Because there was someone else in my life? SERIOUSLY?! I'm really surprised you can't see the irony in this, because it really is hilarious. I have to wait for Facebook to tell me about your life, and you're upset because I didn't tell you something before. I'm over it. I really am. Find yourself someone to take my place (and seriously, good luck with that). I'm not putting myself through this any longer. If you want to be friends, it's a two way street, honey. You have to make the effort as well.
This may seem trivial with everything else going on in your life, but I hope you learn something. Maybe the next one will benefit from all this. I honestly, truly, wish you nothing but the best.

starting to wonder.

2010-06-17T01:02:00.002-04:00

I'm thinking maybe I've taken this a little to far.
I have a confession to make. I've feigned the whole "social butterfly" thing.
Yep. Believe it or not, I'm actually freakishly shy. I only pretend to be happy and chipper and upbeat and friendly.
On the inside, I'm terrified of people. I've let this carry on too long. I can't handle it. I'm not equipped to handle it.
People are complicated. & fickle. They lie, they use, they abuse.
I'm lucky to have found people that put up with me. I really am.

Forgot a couple!

2010-06-05T19:00:00.002-04:00

Haha sorry - forgot to mention these!
Going The Distance. Drew & Justin's chemistry translates on screen :D.
Some honorable mentions that don't come out til the fall:
Easy A. Ever heard of the scarlet letter?
The Adjustment Bureau. It looks promising.

summer films!

2010-05-31T14:26:00.002-04:00

Hi friends! 2010 has proven to be an awesome year in the film industry. What with Prince of Persia, Iron Man 2, Alice in Wonderland, Robin Hood, etc, all out this year, I'm hoping the second half of 2010 proves to be just as amazing. Here are some peeks at what's to come:
Ondine. Colin Farrell ♥.
Jonah Hex. Now, y'all know how I am about action heroes and comic books. DC Comics. Megan Fox. Enough said.
Twelve. It's like Gossip Girl. Only X-rated. Sex, Drugs, & the Upper East Side. Oh, & did I mention Chace Crawford?!
Predators. Remember Ahhnold in Predators? Yeah, remake with Adrien Brody this time.
Dinner For Shmucks. You all know I dislike comedies... but this I have to see.
Charlie St. Cloud. Zac Efron plays a young man who loses his younger brother. Tear-jerker of 2010. Snow Patrol on soundtrack.
Beastly. This is like a YA novel on film. SO excited to see this one. Mary Kate Olsen & Vanessa Hudgens star.
Step Up 3-D. Dance movie. In 3D. This one's going to have a LOT of summer jams in it.
Eat Pray Love. FINALLY the movie is coming :D if you haven't read it, YOU SHOULD START NOW.
The Expendables. Like action stars? Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, Steve Austin, & Terry Crews. Yeah. Talk about a killer cast.
Takers. Idris Elba. Paul Walker. Matt Dillon. T.I. Zoe Saldana. Chris Brown. Hayden Christensen. Jay Hernandez. Yep.
I'm pretty sure that's about it for this summer.. & since I'm a lazy bum, I will be at the movies every other Sunday this season. :)

summer'10.

2010-05-20T12:47:00.002-04:00

Granted, it's been almost 6 months since my last post. I was really busy. Between pledging and classes... Well.
Drama has taken over my life. We all know how much I hate it. I'm a pretty relaxed person. Not a lot gets me mad. Live and let live. I guess not everyone is the same. Some people get so preoccupied with what other people do, it's almost laughable. I mean, seriously, live your own life. Who cares what other people do? It's not like you don't make mistakes too. No one hasn't done something they regret doing. I've forgiven myself for what I did. It took me almost 4 months, but I've made the decision that I just won't get involved anymore. Don't ask, don't tell.
On that note, my summer has officially begun. I am careless, free, taking everything one day at a time. Hopefully I'll be writing more, since I'll have a lot more time on my hands. And I'll definitely be reading more. (Oh and speaking of reading, SHIVER. omg.)
That's all :)

formspring.me

2010-01-26T20:24:00.001-05:00

Shoot: http://formspring.me/Gelany

One down, 99 to go.

2010-01-11T17:25:00.004-05:00

I refuse to post about the new year. Except to say I've created a 100-book list to read by December 31.
I've finished the first book on the list (not literally, it's just the first I've read. I'm not reading them in sequential order, just in the order I can get my hands on them). The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. My rating: 4 out of 5. I'll try not to give too much away, even though there's a movie out. Our main character, Henry, is a time traveler. Very fictitious, I know. Clare, main character number two, has known Henry since she was six. He travels to her childhood when he's older, which is how she meets him. Clare and Henry's relationship is anything but simple and clear cut. The author illustrates the differences in each character, each one a product of the time they live in. I feel like it happens to all of us; we are different people at each stage of our lives. Remember when I finished that 5000 question survey? It took me about 300 days, and the last question asked if I was the same person at the end of the survey, that I was at the beginning. The answer was a resounding NO, but I digress.
Each Henry is different, sometimes subtly, but no two Henrys are the same. I feel that Clare remains a constant throughout the book, she is the one who stays when Henry travels, and her personality more or less reflects her role in Henry's life. Henry's personality, however, is every bit as volatile as Clare's is constant. Clare, in her youth, knows an older, more mature Henry, so when he meets her for the first time (she is 20, he is 28), it's a bit of a surprise when he's not quite the Henry she remembers from her childhood. They go on a life journey, and as their relationship develops, they face a lot of the trials and triumphs that many real couples deal with. Still, they must also deal with Henry's... condition. I'll leave it at that, so you can enjoy and form your own opinions if you decide to read it. All in all, I definitely recommend this book. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

accidental babies.

2010-01-08T00:41:00.002-05:00

Well I held you like a lover
Happy hands and your elbow in the appropriate place

And we ignored our others, happy plans
For that delicate look upon [my] face

Our bodies moved and hardened
Hurting parts of [my] garden
With no room for a pardon
In a place where no one knows what we have done

Do you come
Together ever with [her]?
And is [she] dark enough?
Enough to see your light?
And do you brush your teeth before you kiss?
Do you miss my smell?
And is [she] bold enough to take you on?
Do you feel like you belong?
And does [she] drive you wild?
Or just mildly free?
What about me?

Well you held me like a lover
Sweaty hands
And my foot in the appropriate place

And we use cushions to cover
Happy glands
In the mild issue of our disgrace

Our minds pressed and guarded
While our flesh disregarded
The lack of space for the light-hearted
In the boom that beats our drum

Well [you] know [you] make [me] cry
And [you] know sometimes [I] wanna die
But do you really feel alive without me?
If so, be free
If not, leave [her] for me
Before one of us has accidental babies
For we are in love

What about me?
What about me?

nostalgia?

2009-11-22T15:14:00.003-05:00

I can't believe this is coming from me, but I miss it. I miss the heat. I miss the sun burning our skin, the length of days and shortness of nights. I miss the humidity. I miss the crowded streets, the pollution, the garbage. I miss the sound of cars beeping and honking at each other. I miss the beaches, the water, the way the sun reflects on absolutely everything. I miss having everyone nearby. I miss the simplicity of life. I miss the formality, and the closeness. I miss the smells, the streets at night, my grandmother's cooking. I even miss going to the country, my uncle's ranch, my great-grandmother's house. I miss lazy afternoon naps in the shade. I miss the spontaneous outings and trips to the beach.
Living there was like living in summer, year round. School was for seeing friends and hanging out. Nights were for going out. And oh, the heat. It was almost unbearable, but now that it's gone, I miss it. I want it back. I miss the way people interact, the social dynamics that were formal, but not distant; old-fashioned, but somehow, with a closeness and warmth and personal contact that's missing here.
It's starting to get colder. Days are getting shorter, and it's getting harder to remember the heat. I guess people reflect their environments. I'm not saying that people here are cold, but the friendships are somehow distant. There's certainly warmth, if you know where to look and how to find it, but it's different. The formality of relationships is gone. Friends are more difficult to make, and easier to let go. I guess it's because it's such a big country, and there's always the possibility that you'll leave for somewhere else. Even here, at school, people come from all over, but once they leave for winter break, or summer vacation, it's like they're not there anymore. Maybe I'm just missing home. Most of all, I miss the heat; the warmth of the people, the sun, and the water.

trailer time

2009-11-21T17:58:00.002-05:00

Yes! Went to the movies, saw New Moon (3.5/5). Got some new trailers for you :)
Sherlock Holmes. It's the second trailer :D.
The Wolfman - trailer #2
Remember Me HELLO, Rob Pattinson. O.o
Dear John. Okay, I know the whole Nicholas Sparks thing. I know it'll be bittersweet, but the soundtrack caught me <3. Besides, my roommate owns the book. I'll read it first, and let you know ;D.
Daybreakers. C'mon, guys, it's vampires! Besides, Ethan Hawke & Willem Dafoe <3.
Youth In Revolt Michael Cera :)
That's all for now:)

So.. about that last post...

2009-11-16T17:31:00.002-05:00

I thought about it. Three days is a long time to think about something? Try a month and a half. This needs to stop. I won't be your consolation prize. I love you, and you're either going to love me back, or leave me alone. I won't be used this way. I can't be caught in between like this. You have to make a commitment, or go away. I let it go too far. I wouldn't have, if I didn't believe you felt the same.
Obviously I was wrong.
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale. I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell...
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down.
I want to say that I'm done.. but I'm not that strong. It might take me a while to get over it. For now, I'll mourn what could have been.

As Lovers Go.

2009-11-05T22:44:00.002-05:00

Wow. I cannot be happier with this person. I love everything about him. Even the annoying parts. The way he smells, and the way he looks at me. How his body completely relaxes when he falls asleep. The way his eyes change color, and the way they dilate when we're together. His hands, and the way he drives so recklessly, but always in complete control of his car. How he knows the words to every other song on the radio. The way he's comfortable no matter where he is. His cool arrogance. His ability to enjoy silence. His voice when he doesn't shut up. His acceptance of who I am, as weird or strange as I can be. The way I feel when I'm with him; like nothing can bring me down, because he'll be there to catch me. His carelessness, and his attentiveness. The way he can pick up on any and all of my moods, despite the fact that he doesn't show that he pays attention. His concern with my well-being, and the way he worries he'll hurt me. His confidence, and the way his eyes light up when he smiles.
I'm sure he'd be really freaked out if he read this, but it's his fault.
:)

She said, "I've got to be honest,
You're wasting your time if you're fishin' around here."
And I said, "You must be mistaken,
I'm not foolin', this feelin' is real."
She said, "You've gotta be crazy!
What do you take me for? Some kinda of easy mark?"

"You've got wits,
You've got looks,
You've got passion,
But I swear that you've got me all wrong."

All wrong
All wrong
But you've got me

I'll be true, I'll be useful, I'll be cavalier,
I'll be yours my dear
And I'll belong to you
If you just let me through

This is easy as lovers go.
So don't complicate it by hesitating.
This is wonderful as loving goes.
This is tailor made,
What's the sense in waiting?

I said, "I've got to be honest,
I've been waiting for you all of my life."
For so long I thought I was asylum bound,
But just seeing you makes me think twice.
And being with you here makes me sane.
I fear I'll go crazy if you leave my side.

"You've got wits,
You've got looks,
You've got passion,
But are you brave enough to leave with me tonight?"

Tonight
Tonight
You've got me

♥

chase this light

2009-10-25T11:51:00.003-04:00

I don't really have anything to say. I don't know why I'm writing this right now, but I have to get it out. I don't want to do this, go through all of this shit, if we aren't going anywhere. I understand that he needs time. But I refuse to be the one he settles with. I will not be that girl. I won't be happy with whatever he decides to toss my way. Sure, I admit I was okay with it at some point, but I want more. I don't know what to do about him right now. It seems like it's impossible to convince him. He's still under the very mistaken illusion that I'm strong, and I can handle the blows he tosses at me. I'm not, and I can't. I don't want to think about him this much. I don't want to love him.

"He can be so nice, then so mean. He can care and protect, make you laugh, and at the same time play games with your head. And after he's done with that, he'll tear your heart out, rip it into the smallest fragments known to man and leave it on the floor, while all you can do is stand there, not being able to cry because you're so numb, because you thought that there was something there, when really there was nothing but a wayward boy out to break a poor girls fragile heart, because he didn’t know what he wanted."

himerus and eros.

2009-10-15T00:50:00.002-04:00

I've just had the most wonderful birthday since the time I turned 3. I wasn't let down. My friends were there for me, and I was pleasantly surprised nothing too disastrous went down. All in all, I think the curse is broken :). I made a birthday wish too, though I doubt it'll come true.
~
It is unbelievable how many times I keep finding myself in this situation. I understand that he was hurt, and he needs time, but I can't wait forever. I don't want to be that girl that needs to put a label on things, but I can't stand not knowing where we are. I like what's happening between us, but is it going anywhere? He can't say the things he says to me and act the way he does around me, and not have me expect anything from him. I won't ask. I won't. I will not put him, or myself, in that position. He doesn't have to worry about me. I know he thinks I'm tough, but I also know as I walk into this that I'm the one that's going to get hurt. I know doesn't think he's worth it, but doesn't it tell you something, when I know he is? He's one of the kindest, funniest, sweetest people I've ever met, but he doesn't see that. I don't know how much longer I can hold on like this, but I won't break down in front of him. I won't pressure him, either. It's like, when we're alone, we're great. We hang out, and it's like we've been doing it forever. Around some other people, though, he's distant. Not around everyone, just some people. And it's that distance he puts between us that hurts me the most. I want to be there for him, and he won't let me in. The times I do get glimpses of him, he closes me out so quickly, sometimes before I can realize what's happening. I just don't know what to do.

Upcoming :D

2009-09-29T16:01:00.003-04:00

I bring you, my dear friends, yet another array of fascinating trailers:
Dorian Gray
Now, Heath Ledger (may he Rest in Peace) did manage to start a new film after The Dark Knight was completed. However, my sources tell me that even though he didn't finish, three marvelous actors did something wonderful. Heath died before he could include his daughter, Matilda Rose Ledger, in his will. Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell are finishing his role in the movie, and donating their salaries to Heath's 3-year-old child.
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus <3
And, speaking of Johnny Depp, Alice In Wonderland <3<3.
Disney lover til the end <3: The Princess & The Frog
A Christmas Carol
A Nightmare on Elm Street
The Book Of Eli
I have mixed feelings about this one, I think it's kind of shooting too much towards The Boondock Saints: The Ministers
Valentine's Day.
From Paris With Love
The Box
'Tis all ;).

Candle.

2009-09-27T20:02:00.003-04:00

Ok, so here's the deal: I won't tease you about being bitches and assholes, and you quit the single jokes :). Yes, I am very much aware that I'm not in a relationship. Thank you so much for pointing that out to me. I would also appreciate it if you stopped being inconsiderate, and looking over me as if I weren't there. You don't know what I do or don't need, so stop assuming. It's getting really old.
Thanks.

Por fin, me preguntaron que me sucede, y pude responder.
- Gelany trade the sun for moon and stars. says (11:36 PM):
*tiene que ver
- Gelany trade the sun for moon and stars. says (11:37 PM):
*con que todo el mundo asume que pq yo siempre me estoy riendo, y hablando, yo soy una idiota.
*con que alguien que dice que soy su mejor amiga, me pone condiciones y ultimatos, y tiene 2 semanas que no me habla pq segun el, yo soy una perra.
- Gelany trade the sun for moon and stars. says (11:38 PM):
*con que mi roommate esta tan secure in her relationship, que no ve que me duele cada vez que ellos me invitan a salir con ellos o cuando estan juntos aqui
- Gelany trade the sun for moon and stars. says (11:39 PM):
*con que todo el mundo asume que mi felicidad no es superficial, and they underestimate what i need from them
*tiene que ver
*con que me tomen for granted
*because im always there
- Gelany trade the sun for moon and stars. says (11:40 PM):
*y con que aveces, me gustaria que se trate de mi. no siempre, pero de vez en cuando, que alguien se de cuenta de lo que yo quiero y necesito.

part one.

2009-09-17T10:13:00.001-04:00

It was a cloudless day, the kind of day that you wish doesn't ever end. I was at a concert; people were everywhere. I was guest singer. I sang a couple of songs; it was sort of a Warped Tour kind of thing. Matt was there, with his band. I sang with them. He had a girlfriend, but she wasn't there. Then, we were in the tent, with the press. They were interviewing us, and cameras were everywhere. Matt was answering most of the questions. He kept glancing at me every few minutes, making eye contact, as if he had something on his mind he needed to tell me. Suddenly, he stopped talking. He looked at me again, then pulled me against him, and kissed me. Not just any kiss, but a slow, smoldering, passionate kiss that left me dazed and wanting; I touched my lips with my tongue, as if to savor the taste. He just stares at me as if he's searching my face for a reaction. The press starts pushing cameras in our faces and shooting question after question, but we're just looking at each other, his hands on my shoulders, mine on his chest.
Later, we're in his building, in the lobby. He's telling me how he's never met anyone that's made him react like that, and that he doesn't want to lose me. I keep reminding him of his girlfriend, someone I know and like, but he won't listen. He takes my hand and pulls me toward the elevator.

push

2009-08-23T12:47:00.002-04:00

After not posting for 3 months, 3 posts in a week is kind of a radical change. No todo el que yo esperaba ver me vio, y muchos estan enojados. Al yo ser una persona que nunca se enoja, creo que una vez en mi vida, puedo hacerlo. I'm angry because for once, I expected more from people, and was let down. I'm angry because sometimes, it's about me. Not every day, not all the time, but just this once, and not many seemed to care. I am never angry. I never get mad. I always shrug off 99% of the things people do to me. I like making excuses for people.
Not this time.
However, since I'm almost never mad, I have no experience in staying mad for a very long time, so after this post, I forgive you. I won't be mad for long. I just needed to get this out of my system.

once again

2009-08-22T06:59:00.003-04:00

Estoy en el aeropuerto de santo domingo, como lo estaba hace casi un año atras. I think that last year was slightly less disappointing than this year. My last night here was definitely not what I was hoping for. Between runaway cousins, drunken fits, and no-show best friends, it wasn't quite the night to remember I had in mind. I've been awakke for 22 hours. I don't know when I'll be back, and I'll miss it. I can't think too hard about all this right now, but I know I'll break down soon. Until then,
-G

verano dos mil nueve.

2009-08-17T12:11:00.003-04:00

Este verano fue uno de los mas divertidos que he pasado. Vi a todos mis amigos (o casi todos), vi amores terminar y nuevos romances comenzar, sali mucho, goze mucho, conoci a muchas personas que se que mantendre en mi vida. It's people like these that make life worth living. You know how that saying goes: "Friends are God's way of apologizing for family". Truer words were never spoken. I know that if I don't come back for another four years, my friends will still be there for me, regardless of the time and distance, and they'll welcome me back like I was only gone for a day. They also say that good friends are hard to find. I feel like I've been so lucky to find so many good friends.
I've done a lot of thinking while I've been here. I guess you could call it soul-searching. I know I live in the States and all and the advantages are awesome and it's safer, nicer, more convenient and comfortable living, and whatever, but I really feel that I couldn't stay there on a permanent basis. Me dijeron que es definitivo, volveremos a vivir en el pais despues que me gradue. I have to come back to this little island in the Caribbean, donde siempre cabe uno mas ;). Se que estamos en tiempos dificiles, pero soy y siempre sere una ilusa, que ve lo mejor en las personas hasta que demuestren lo contrario. Hasta ahora, muy pocas personas me han desilusionado, y se que duele, pero no podemos pasar por la vida temiendole a las desilusiones. He adoptado un punto de vista mas filosofico en lo que ha transcurrido del año. Tratare de no tomarme las cosas tan a pecho, como solia hacerlo. Hasta ahora, mi teoria ha probado ser muy eficiente. Pero, veremos lo que pasa.
Me he acercado a algunas personas, me he alejado de otras. I almost ruined one of my closest friendships, simply because I take him for granted. (SI, Victor Eduardo, me refiero a ti.) I pushed you away because I know you won't be pushed away, no matter what I do. I know that sometimes it's hard for me to let you know this, but your friendship is something I know that I can't go without. So please, don't give up on me:).
A todos los amigos nuevos que hice, siempre los tendre presente. Y claro, esta el msn!
-20 minutes later...
Sorry! me distraje con el msn. I lost my train of thought, pero prometo no volver a durar tanto tiempo sin postear!
;*

:D

2009-06-11T12:17:00.005-04:00

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

up

2009-06-01T00:12:00.002-04:00

Hello all! I have some new trailers you absolutely HAVE to see. I just saw Terminator Salvation today. O M G. 4.75 stars, and there were a couple of pleasant surprises thrown in there! That's all I'm saying. Go see it! Haha okay here goes:
Inglourious Basterds What can I say? It's Quentin (:
Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince While this wasn't my favorite of the series, the movie looks very promising. One of the few book-to-film adaptations I continue to be an avid fan of.
TRANSFORMERS: Revenge of the Fallen Enough said :D ♥.
9 Seriously... It's Tim Burton.
Sherlock Holmes a) Robert Downey Jr, & Jude Law. b) Sherlock Holmes. c) a & b are enough.
Public Enemies. Christian Bale & Johnny Depp. The beautiful and talented Marion Cotillard. No further comments.
Whatever Works Evan Rachel Wood, what have you done?
I'm kind of tired now, so I'll finish this one tomorrow. ;xoxo

Oh.

2009-05-16T23:08:00.005-04:00

I'm drafting this, but I don't know if I'll publish. Now I know the true meaning of the phrase, "it was just like in the movies". It was perfect. No awkwardness, no weirdness, just us. The movie was great. Angels & Demons: 4.35 stars. The storyline was erratic at times, but I won't get into that now. You should go see it for yourself.
There were points and displays of uncharacteristic sweetness. If he's trying to prevent me from falling, then he's doing the exact opposite of what he should be doing. Everything happened just as it should. And, when it was over, at that moment, all I could think was, oh. It was like my mind went
huh?
oh.
b l a n k.
...
wow.
stopped breathing.
don't stop.
That's never happened to me before. Not even with he-who-must-not-be-named. But, here, now, it feels right. I just hope that, by some miracle, I can convince him of that. Because, for the first time in a very long time, if not ever, I don't want the summer to hurry.
He already has a playlist. ♥

Baby, Come On.

2009-05-06T20:41:00.002-04:00

I am ECSTATIC. I almost, almost, gave up. And then, he found out I lied. I was never okay with just being friends. And I'm not like other girls. I don't feel the need to be on a guy's case 24/7. And he realized it! I know it's putting a lot at stake, and three months is a long time, and anything can happen, but oh, I haven't felt like this in a long time, and I'm so happy and I have faith. I really believe that this can happen. Cross your fingers for me ♥ (yn).

2009-05-03T04:27:00.001-04:00

Just my luck, the one person I fall for is the one I can't have. Dals, Victor Manuel, I have to talk to you.

Let it happen.

2009-04-29T15:54:00.002-04:00

It frustrates me so much when people have issues that they need to resolve with others, and they'd rather talk about it to everyone but that specific person. Is it really that difficult? If you have a problem with me, let me know. I'll avoid you, apologize for whatever it is I did wrong, or do whatever it is you want me to do. Oh sure, use me, that's fine. "Gelany knows how to do this, let's ask her. Oh I can't figure this out, I'll call Gelany. How do I find the equilibrium constant? When is the bio lab presentation due? Gelany, I can't figure my computer out. Hey, you want to lay in your bed trying to sleep while I make out with my boyfriend? Why don't you add a grown man to your roommates? Gelany is such a flirt. I don't talk to that whore anymore." I have been nothing but kind and helpful to everyone I've met since I got here. Always cheerful, never dumping emotional shit on anyone. It really hurts that anyone would be like that. I am not anyone's doormat, and I will not be treated that way. I refuse to put up with anyone's shit anymore.
Today is just not a good day.

Daly <3

2009-04-28T19:44:00.002-04:00

FINALLY llego el dia donde MI DALS cumple aniooo :D. This is the start of a new year for you! You can do WHATEVER you want with it. Don't let the past determine your future. And if anyone deserves a clean slate, it's her. She's a beautiful person, one of the kindest, nicest, sweetest people I know, and now, finally, she'll have a chance to spread her wings. I hope she has a great day, even though she had to study for tests and stuff. But still, her birthday isn't over until she says it's over. So, Dals, amor mio, disfruta de tu semana, tu mes, y en especial, tu anio, because you're 18! And, aunque you're all ages once, you really are only 18 once. Thanks for just being there; never forget I love you ♥

2009-04-28T15:03:00.004-04:00

So I'm laying outside enjoying the really nice weather and I just called my mom to tell her about the fall out boy concert. She said I can't go because she doesn't trust the guys. You know what? Whatever. Posting later for Daly's birthday.

obsessed.

2009-04-24T23:21:00.002-04:00

Movie review!
Okay, so I went to the movies tonight with my mom (spending some quality time together and all that) and we went to see Obsessed. I know, very Fatal Attraction/Perfect Stranger kinda thing, right? Well, sort of. It was, for the first 45 minutes or so, pretty much what you expect. But the producers (Beyonce Knowles and Magic Johnson, among others) give us a little twist. Don't worry, I won't give anything away here, for those of you that haven't seen the film, but I give it two thumbs up. The movie turns into not-your-average stalker film. Very thrilling after you get into it. It keeps you on your feet throughout the whole ordeal. Definitely recommend. 4.25 stars.

Hey

2009-04-08T12:27:00.006-04:00

Just thought I'd share some trailers of upcoming movies... Me being the movie junkie that I am. Can't wait to see some of these:
AstroBoy
Where The Wild Things Are<3
Away We Go
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen<3
The Mysteries of Pittsburgh
Easy Virtue
Pandorum
Máncora
The Ugly Truth
I can't believe I'm going to say this, but
Star Trek
& I know I don't like comedies, but it's Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen, & it's more drama than comedy:
Funny People
& tengo que demostrar orgullo dominicano:
Sugar
&, of course,
Angels & Demons
The Ugly Truth
When I watch a movie, I like to watch things that will challenge my mind. I especially like psychological thrillers and dramas. I have a very eclectic taste in movies. When I talk to my friends about movies, usually they like comedies and action films. I don’t like comedies. I get a lot of strange looks whenever I say that, but it’s true. I like epic sagas, such as The Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. I like action and fighting films, like The Transporter and Never Back Down. I love films based on comic books. Iron Man is one of my favorite movies. I also have a weakness for romantic girly movies. There are also the classics. Bogart, Hepburn, Davis, Taylor, Grant; all these names, or at least some of them should sound familiar. Everyone has seen at least one of their movies in their lifetimes.
I think the key to a good movie is in the plot, subplots, and dialogue. If a movie doesn’t have a good plot, and some twists in it, it won’t be attractive to any audience. Also, movies shouldn’t be repetitive. I like movies to be original, not the same boy meets girl, boy wins girl, boy loses girl, boy does something epic to win girl back, and the end. It seems as the movie industry has realized that their plots are getting repetitive, and some of the more recent movies are beginning to approach things differently. They are still the same romantic comedies and horror films that people enjoy, but the plots have come to include a lot of twists that people have stopped expecting.

A happy one, for a change.

2009-04-06T19:27:00.003-04:00

QUE FELICIDAD! Daliajely estaba aqui. With me <3. Haha en mi casa! Que desorden. Fuimos al mall, vimos WATCHMEN (3.5 stars, very disturbing, but very cool), dimos vueltas por el mall y nos tiramos fotos en uno de esos booths /=D. muahahaaa! Ella me completa ♥. Yo no creia que ella venia de verda! Ella vino a traerme a la uni, y vio lo que habia. Se me olvido darle el libro... rats. Victor con K tiene par de dias diciendo que viene, pero ata que no lo vea aqui no le voy a creer.
This week is going to be hell. I have truckloads of work to do and a chem test on friday... Shoot me now xD. But, I'm determined to get through it. I'm doing okay, for now.

aldfjk

2009-03-30T12:32:00.002-04:00

I know no one really reads all this.. so I'll just write until it's all out.
First order of business: I have an interesting development for you. It's this organic material called "biochar". It's supposed to be the latest innovation in fuel and fertilizer. You might want to check it out: Click here for the article.
I guess we've been reduced to sharing on a website instead of calling or at least IMing. It seems that I have been limited to friends that have been with me since forever. I appreciate them more than you can imagine, but I disagree with them when they pull these stunts. She was mad at me the other day because she had thought I traded her for someone else. Read my lips: No one will ever take your place. You have gotten me through so many things, and I like to think that I've done the same for you. Yes, the move affected how often we talk, and I realize that we don't see each other anymore, but the bond between us is just as strong, if not stronger because of this. Didn't you see that last summer? When we met at the airport, it was like I had never gone. Our friendship was unchanged. Sure, we can't talk as much as before, but I still believe we can make it through this, and 10 years from now, I'll still call you my best friend. I'll admit I had difficulty adjusting, but doesn't everyone? It's hard moving to somewhere new, and making new friends, especially Senior year of high school. You know it's pointless to make friends, because at the end of the school year, you'll never see these people again. When you get to college, then you can start forming lasting bonds, but that doesn't mean you'll replace those you had before. There's room in my heart for all of you. ♥
As to those of you who still think I've replaced you, I really don't have the energy to deal with that right now. I realize that you want to make an effort and fix things, but friendship is supposed to be effortless. I feel like you drain me emotionally. It shouldn't be exhausting to be your friend. You demand too much of me, and if you really disagree with me as a person so much, then maybe it's time you move on. You couldn't have the slightest idea of how much it hurts me to write this, but I'm tired of always being the bad one, one that has to change. Here's an idea: accept me the way I am. Maybe things won't be so difficult for you once you do.

serenity

2009-03-20T13:48:00.002-04:00

I'm a little more serene today. It's the first day of spring, and you know what that means. All the couples on campus will be happy and blooming and blah blah. Well, apart from all that, Spring is a renewing season. A time to be reborn.
Brittany might be tagging along this summer! I'm so excited, I'm sure we'll show her a good time. I have faith in you, my friends. Summer is on its way.
As to my personal health, emotional and physical, it may not be so good. My father has been speaking to me recently, and he says I can't "hacerme la vida imposible por el estres y la ansiedad". Anxiety attacks are something I can't control. What am I supposed to do? I'm aware there are people in the world under a lot more stress than I am. I have my way of handling it.
I was supposed to talk to my mother about my... nightly excursions into sadness. Yeah, not gonna happen.
All in all, it's just another day.

"All in all it's just another day now
You're falling down
What're you gonna do
Standing on top of the world tonight
No ones looking back at you."

another game.

2009-03-17T23:26:00.002-04:00

Isn't it so fucking easy to say "don't be sad, don't cry"? That doesn't help. I'm never saying those words again. I'm crying, so hard right now that I can barely type this.
I don't understand why I feel the way I do. I have every reason to be happy. So then why is it so easy for the tears to come? Why am I so used to faking the smiles? Why does no one seem to understand? Hell, if even I don't, why should I expect anyone else to understand?
Tears are falling freely now, I've given up on trying to stop. It's just whatever. Maybe I should just quit. Give up.
My makeup is running, my smile is gone. My eyes are red and tired, my hair is messed up. I hate my body. I have anxiety. My heart is broken until further notice. I've given up on love. I've never felt as alone as I do now.
This is me.

fat.

2009-03-09T12:20:00.003-04:00

FAT. ugly. disfigured. unloved. hidden. unwanted. self-hateful. incomplete. unimportant. dull. undesirable. destructive. unsatisfied. disgusting. sick.
it's going away. the easy way, or the hard way. but i refuse to accept myself this way.
i don't want to talk about it.

pink*

2009-03-03T20:14:00.003-05:00

Lately I've been thinking in pink. A lot. It's very refreshing. I just saw Confessions of a Shopaholic, and if you're interested, here's my review: I absolutely loved it! It's the perfect chick flick! Comedy, drama, love <3. It did have some cliche moments, and the movie is a Romantic Comedy, so you can pretty much guess how everything ends, but who goes to the movies to see real life? Everyone wants a happy ending. So, I give it four stars.
Apparently, some people have been complaining that I need to change the way I am. I know I'm difficult and impossible. I know I'm stubborn and an emotional roller coaster. So what if I'm difficult? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I am the way I am because I'd like to see if someone will break my "bubble"? Maybe I like being difficult. Maybe one day someone will care enough to not want to change me. I'm not mad. Really, I'm not. I'm just tired of trying to please everyone else. I won't change the way I am, and if you don't like it, then you really don't have to deal with it. I'm happy on most days. I have my blue days, like everyone else. Sometimes my downs just get lower than my highs.

If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best.
-Marilyn Monroe

HBD Arianna <3

2009-02-05T12:41:00.013-05:00

Today
is a very special day.
Today
is my BESTEST FRIEND in the WHOLE WORLD's
Birthday. =D
Let me tell you a little bit about her.
She's smart

She loves turtles ^__^

She cares about people

She's gotta a couple of screws loose, but she's beautiful.

She's real, and down-to-earth.

I just hope she has a wonderful, spectacular birthday today.

And I love her. (:

dark blue.

2009-02-03T22:23:00.003-05:00

I'm probably going to start to rant during this post, so I get it if you don't want to read the whole thing.
I know I haven't been on in a while. I've been sick. I'm just writing to let you guys know that I haven't died, and to comment that I'm really getting tired of always being the third or fifth wheel. Like, okay, I've always been that person, but maybe sometimes it's nice to hang out with a group of friends instead of a group of couples. Maybe I should get new friends. Then again, new friends suck. I have serious trust issues, and new friends do not exactly represent trust. Besides, when you have new friends, all they want to see is a happy person, someone who'll help them and be there for them. I am really tired of being that friend. What happens when I need someone? I'm not allowed to be sad one day. Right away I'm the rain on their parade. I'm always so damn cheerful, if I'm down one day, oh goodness, she's not one to be around.
I'm tired of holding myself up.
I'd like a break. I'd like someone else to hold me up every once in a while. A boyfriend would not be the best candidate for that. I can't deal with myself, let alone someone else. I'm not sure I can deal with this much longer. The funny thing is, I have no legitimate reason to feel so down. It's like the flip of a switch. One minute I'm happy as a clam, the next I want to go make myself sick. I might actually have to talk to my mother about this. We'll see what happens.

the bright side of suffering.

2009-01-21T18:07:00.004-05:00

I'm seriously beginning to wonder if I have borderline personality disorder. I know I'm not bipolar, because I don't go through manic or depressive episodes for weeks at a time. But how is it possible that I wake up in the morning feeling fine, then in the afternoon I feel like making myself sick then crawling up and dying? Maybe everyone goes through this. I am an adolescent, after all. I am, by definition, supposed to be melodramatic. Thing is, I have no apparent reason for this. I can't explain it. It's so easy to pretend to be happy. Someone told me today that I was one of the happiest people they knew. They've never known me to cry, or hold a grudge, or even get mad. But it's just so ridiculously easy to fake it. A little makeup, a smile, a silly comment and they're all fooled. Well, today I'm tired of faking it. I won't make the effort. I don't want to be happy on the outside and screaming on the inside. But, of course, people find it easier to have a friend than to be one. So I can't. I continue to be there, and smile, and offer a little rainbow to someone's cloudy day. And when I have my cloudy days, I hide them away, or I ride the storm on my own. I really don't know how much more I can take. Or how much more I will take.

one for the girls.

2009-01-20T13:54:00.003-05:00

Hello again! =D This post is for my girls. I've had this song stuck in my head for the past couple of days, and now I know why. So, cheer up ladies. And remember we're here for each other. <3

Hey,
Don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out,
Or looked down on.
Just try your best,
Try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away.

It just takes some time,
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything, everything will be just fine,
Everything, everything will be alright. (alright)

Hey,
You know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, (on your own)
So don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough (good enough)
For someone else.

little more about myself.

2009-01-09T23:12:00.002-05:00

I have no internet connection at home right now. The boredom gets me thinking a lot, and i realized some things about myself that I didn't know.
I can't spell the color that results when you put black and white together.
I can't say "sneeze" or "rinse" in Spanish, despite my fluency.
I chew on my lips when I think, and as a result, they sting when I eat salty or spicy foods.
I desperately believe in fairy tales and happy endings, because I know I won't get mine.
I bite on my right thumb when I'm nervous.
I have an overwhelming fear of commitment, though secretly I would like nothing more than to have one.
I see myself as plain and ordinary, and nothing, nothing, that anyone says will change that.
I love and depend on my friends far more than is strictly healthy.
I read so many books and watch so many movies and study so hard so that I don't have to think about my own life.
I dread bedtime because there's nothing to distract me from thinking about my own life.
I am happiest in the company of my closest friends.
I don't know where I would be without music.
I am spoiled.
I recognize the fact that I am spoiled, and I don't care.

dear santa

2008-12-21T17:12:00.003-05:00

Dear Santa,
I know you've been really busy lately, but maybe you could take some time to read my letter. I also know you're working so hard to bring all the children their Merry Christmases, so I don't want to burden you with one more stop. If you could just bring my dad to me safely, I'm sure he can give me my present, and you'll have one less stop to make. I asked you for what I wanted last year, but I think you didn't get my letter. I hope this letter finds you well.
Peace & Love,
Gelany.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

I had a very interesting conversation with a friend who's having girl trouble, and I shared one of my theories with him. This happened late at night, and he was feeling a little blue because of his lady friend. I told him it's because it was nighttime. Everything goes down at night. The stars are magical. Don't believe me? Go out sometime, with a possible love interest. At night. Depending on a lot of things, you could be either more attracted, or completely turned away. But, whatever happens, the way you feel in the morning is the real deal. Night feelings are just a product of mood, but in the morning, you're ready for the rest of the day. Nothing has tainted your mind, or your heart. So, the next time you meet someone you like, do the morning after test. You might be surprised at the results.
x's&o's.

cherry poppin fun.

2008-12-12T14:13:00.002-05:00

Hello ladies and gentlemen! I have an announcement for you =) My Mario Party cherry has been officially popped. Yeah I know, who hasn't played Mario ?! But I hadn't until today =) Y la ve esa donde Ally. Pero today we had like a full on tournament that lasted for like 2 hours! It was me, Craig, Brendan, Chelsea, and Lindsey. Lindsey won. lol Of course I lost. =) But it was all in good fun, our last day of classes of our first semester in college as bio majors.
♥

playlist from facebook =P

2008-11-30T18:48:00.002-05:00

im bored. don't blame me.
en orden alfabetico, por apellido.
separado por tipos de font.
these are songs about you.
find yourself <3.

marco antonio
dalianjely cruz
robertico dominguez
alannah p. javier
victor justo
victor quiroz
juan arturo recio
andres rodriguez
ary rondon
italo ruiz
nicole saldivar
jochy saldivar
arianna suarez
jorge szabo
marielle tabar
jero vega

say (all i need) - one republic.
dear maria count me in - all time low.
stars and boulevards - augustana
anyone else but you - the moldy peaches
breathing - lifehouse
polygraph, right now - the spill canvas
hey now - hilary duff
we're all to blame - sum 41
vindicated - dashboard confessional
the takedown - yellowcard
miles apart - yellowcard
brighter - paramore.
set the fire to the third bar - snow patrol ft. martha wainwright.
hey there delilah - plain white t's
i caught fire - the used
diamonds and coal - incubus
here with me - dido
remember to feel real - armor for sleep
cuando me miras asi - cristian castro
what i've done - linkin park
won't go home without you - maroon five
somebody told me - the killers
valio la pena - marc anthony
killa - cherish ft. yung joc
all that we needed - plain white t's
subete - alexis & fido
kilometros - sin bandera
bailando sola - don omar
do something - britney spears
maneater - nelly furtado
pistol - dustin kensrue
me pregunto - belanova
the chinese calendar :)
antidoto - calendar
crush on liberty - main artery
emmanuel horvilleur - tu hermana (;
when your heart stops beating - +44
the best of me - the starting line
autumn's monologue - from autumn to ashes
hear you me - jimmy eat world
a little's enough - angels & airwaves
undeniable - mat kearney
almost lover - a fine frenzy
still - matt nathanson
come on get higher - matt nathanson
himerus and eros - the spill canvas
linger - the cranberries
part of your world - the little mermaid
tallulah - sonata arctica
with me - sum 41
music box - thrice

twilight and bunnies and deer, oh my !

2008-11-21T05:12:00.006-05:00

So, it's just past 5 in the AM and I just got home. My roommate Brittany and I just had an awesome adventure, and I'm going to tell you all about it. It's around 10:30 PM and Brittany gets home from work with Andrew (her boyfriend)and she tells me that they're having a midnight premier of Twilight <3 ! So, we BEG and PLEAD for Andrew to come with us, but of course, he's a guy, and Twilight is totally a chick flick. Brittany ends up making a deal with him and he lends us his car! So, off we go =). We took a wrong turn right out of the campus xD but never fear! We doubled back in like 3 minutes and we got to the theatre just fine =).
TWILIGHT WAS AMAZING. I want to go see it again! Definitely a girl's night out movie. or girls night in. or movie to pass the time. or to watch whenever! <3<3<3
Ok, so we get out, take another wrong turn (we don't get lost, we get "mistracted" (misguided and distracted)) and we're 5 minutes away from the campus when I realize I LEFT MY PURSE IN THE THEATRE. Call 411, they're no help at all, so we double back to get it. By this, its like 2:45 AM. My purse is safe (thank goodness) but I was missing 20 bucks. Start the drive back, fill up Andrew's car with gas, then we get mistracted again.. this time by a sign for the beach! Well, you only live once right? So we decide to pull an all-nighter and take the exit. XD YEAH, about that. We drive, and drive, and drive, and drive, and no beach! The road by now is really, really deserted and creepy with trees and darkness and... yeah. So we turn on the radio! Kiss 108 FM! And we drive and we talk and we drive and talk some more. And the road just gets creepier and creepier. And then, we see 2 deers crossing the road! I've never seen deer before<3 they were adorable! So we keep on driving, and driving and driving! It was around 4 in the morning when we finally reach civilization in the form of Dartmouth, Mass. We drive around for a while, then we reach a hospital, and I go inside to ask the security dude how to get to UMass Dartmouth. He gives us directions, we reach the Dartmouth Mall and we're saved! We arrive on campus safely =)
While we're walking into the dorms, we see an adorable bunny bounding into the woods!<3 I tried to take a picture, but it was too dark =/. Anywho, since it's like 5 in the morning we're just not going to sleep. We're going to watch movies til like 6:30 or 7, shower, go to breakfast, then go to class at 9.
*sigh*. And that was our adventure !
xoxo;

never!

2008-11-20T18:18:00.002-05:00

I saw the most adorable couple the other night. He was a guitar player, into Bob Dylan and Led Zeppelin and the Beatles and she was all pretty and preppy and they were just so beautiful together. I envy them.
I had a terrible day today. Pain (physical more than emotional, for once) was radiating through me all day. My stupid bio lab teacher has just lost any shred of respect I might have had for her.
whatever. i'm tired.

shining stars

2008-10-28T22:26:00.002-04:00

You know that old cliche, about how you don't know what you have until you lose it? Well, I didn't have to lose it to know exactly what I have. Not one, not two, but SIX shining stars in my life. And, okay, I didn't exactly lose them, but they're not with me. And that has made me appreciate them even more. I don't know if being unhappy will affect my schoolwork. Frankly, I hope it does. Then maybe I'll be allowed to leave. Hope springs eternal and all that. They are the crutches that hold me up, and now they're not here. What do I do? I don't have any established trust, with anyone here. I have no one I can call and say, "Hey, I need to talk. Can we go somewhere?" In all honesty, I don't believe I can finish 4 more years here, much less medical school and residency and all that. My friends were everything to me. They held me up, through everything that was happening. I slept over at her house, when my house stopped being a home. He came over and I talked for hours with him, just because I was sad. Why is it that I can't have that? It's simple. Just people. But they're irreplaceable. Undeniable. Brilliant. I love you.

autumn is here.

2008-10-19T17:57:00.002-04:00

it seems i manage to get up from one hit only to fall right back down from another. but this time, i don't think everything will be alright. i hate not having anyone here. i don't know what to do anymore. i'm getting desperate. i don't think i'll be able to go on for much longer with this hurt inside.

cat&mouse.

2008-10-17T11:20:00.001-04:00

i cried myself to sleep last night. i dont really know why; i think i'm not happy.

come out.

2008-10-16T21:11:00.002-04:00

this is kind of lame. its thursday night and i'm still sitting in my room watching canadian tv shows. granted, i have class tomorrow, but still. i want to enjoy myself too. both my roommates are out. i need to find something to do with myself, before i go insane. i miss home. i miss being close to my friends. i miss being able to call people to talk, really talk. i have nothing more to say.
xxoo

dentistry

2008-10-13T22:00:00.002-04:00

ok
so
camino al dentista esta maniana, arianna me llamo. en una ella salta,
"gelany, dile a tia rosaura ke yo dije keloke."
Yo:
"mami, ke dice arianna ke keloke."
Mami:
"akii, trankila kieta."
wtf ? xD

this past weekend my family on my dad's side had a reunion. the excuse was they were celebrating my birthday. more like, an excuse for my aunts and uncles to get drunk and talk bull. excuse my french.
anywho, i'm legal as of tomorrow. i can smoke, go to war, play the lottery, vote, and buy porn. not that i'm inclined to do any of those things, except maybe vote. =P
x's & o's.

old patterns.

2008-09-28T00:16:00.002-04:00

im sorry i've been neglecting you, my darlings. i've had a ridiculous amount of homework, and facebook is really a distraction. ;P. i believe i'm falling into old patterns again. it took only one conversation with him to make me relapse. i know i should get over him, but i cant, or i dont seem to want to. it's so sad that i know he wont ever feel the same about me, but i don't really seem to care. it's going on 3 years now.
speaking of years (and changing the subject because thinking about him makes me anxious) my birthday is coming up =). my dad got me a present!. it's awesome =). he's coming to visit too. i want him to get me the stephenie meyer collection. <3. i'm sorry if i seem a little superficial here, i just don't want to dwell on anything too profound; i don't think i could stand it.
xoxo

people.

2008-09-14T21:52:00.002-04:00

do you know what sucks about living with people? you can't cry. not in front of them. if you just randomly break out in tears, they'll automatically feel bad and want to comfort you. but, sometimes, you just need a good cry to let it out. obviously, with people here, i cant. i might go down to the basement later and curl up somewhere. its funny how people you hardly know can hurt you with the most casual of words. i know, i know, who cares what people think ? and i dont, honest. but the things he said, and the way he said them, they just really hurt my feelings. and made me wonder. and doubt myself. after i got past the hurt, i got angry. it irritated me so much that this could get under my skin like this. i know i shouldn't let someone who hardly knows me and who's so quick to judge get me down like this. he probably didnt give it a second thought, while i've been chewing on it all day. i'm sorry guys. im really not in the best of moods. ttyl.
xoxo~

onefiftyfive

2008-09-07T02:05:00.003-04:00

remember the day at the park? where i was perfectly happy? those are the memories that keep me going. i've had a lot of them at 1:55. it's the best time of night, where it's almost but not quite 2AM. if you're not in the city you can look up and see the stars. you might even catch a falling star. and, as always, there's the soundtrack. the crickets chirping, and the bugs flitting, the wind in the trees and through the grass. if you're downtown, you can close your eyes and listen to the noise. car horns, police sirens, people's voices, music from the club down the street, footsteps on the pavement. existentialist conversations are always best at this time of night. and then, of course, there's the music in your head. or the music coming from your ever-present headphones. yes, i know, normal people don't carry ipods or zunes or mp3 players or cd players or tape players wherever they go. but you should. there's a song for every moment in your life. you just have to take the time to listen.
-credits to Peter M and Andres R for starting these thoughts.
xoxo~

red

2008-09-06T03:05:00.002-04:00

my english teacher assigned us each this question, and we were to write for 15 minutes.
"why do i write?"
i write because it's easier to put things down than to say them aloud. i write to let everything go. i write to communicate, and to reach out, to touch someone. i write to enjoy myself. i write to entertain =). i write because i desperately need to share the thoughts racing in my mind, for fear that they'll burst and no one will see. i write to understand myself. i write to empty and free my mind. because i dont have to justify myself. because i dont need to fake a smile. because i can breathe easily and not panic that i'll mess up. i write because even if i mess up, it doesnt matter. no one will scold me. no one will criticize and dissect and dismantle what i've written. i write to connect. i write to organize myself, my thoughts, and my feelings. i write to ease the burden on my conscience. i write because i like it. because im comfortable with it. with the way it rolls through my mind and down to my fingertips. i write to lay down streams of consciousness. i write so you can read what i write.
xoxo

moving out - and in.

2008-08-28T17:14:00.003-04:00

uff ! i'm pooped. me mude ! =D hahaha ya vivo en la universidad. oficially. plop*. honestamente, yo se que me va a hacer falta ke mi mama este ahi para recordarme ke tengo ke comer; para lavar mi ropa; para cocinarme. xD ~ plop !. anywho; college is good.. i still have this session of orietation to go through, y es el martes ke entro a clase, but i should be all right, and my roommates seem like they're nice. then again; puede pasa como en the real world; todo el mundo se lleva bn al principio; y despues salen sus verdaderas caras. yo soy pacifista, prefiero ke dejar ke el otro haga lo ke kiera para evitar un argumento, ahora; tmpoco es ke se van a aprovechar de mi. kien sabe =P tal vez nos llevemos bn =) cross your fingers;
xoxo.~

PS

2008-08-23T13:53:00.003-04:00

entren ahi: click here
y voten por KArlosfera OR Allyversustime OR My Life Journal en los blogs personales.
xoxo

the waiting arms of 2 am.

2008-08-23T01:34:00.005-04:00

i can't sleep, so los aburrire de nuevo con mis pekenias observaciones. tengo ya 12 dias ke regrese de santo domingo. no les mentire, me hace demasiada falta. con todo y lo ke yo le tiraba al paisito ese, it's home. tuve ke perderlo para saber lo mucho ke me hace falta. mi habitacion. los coros improvisados en mi casa. los viajes a fantino (SI, fantino!). montar bicicleta!. mi mama en su jardin. y ke ironico ke con todo lo ke yo decia ke no me iba enamorar de un dominicano, tuvo ke venir uno a llevarme la contraria ;D <3. fui al parke hoy con mis hijos<3 y mi tia y mi mama. it was one of those days where you're just perfectly happy, and nothing feels wrong. hubo algo ke si me hizo falta. ese tonto. >_>. im glad i had today. im glad i had this summer. these memories will hold me through the winter, and they'll get me through this. i'm a firm believer in the old saying that everything happens for a reason, but honestly, i can't find that reason this time. es cierto, aveces la razon no esta clara en el momento, pero right now, me gustaria tenerla.
xoxo~

august is over~

2008-08-14T20:42:00.005-04:00

sorry about this post, guys. i had to delete the video.

Say a prayer
The summer nights are dead
The fall is coming
We were careless hearts
Who got caught up in this

Breathe in deep
Before I say
I can feel us slip away
You're almost gone
You're good as gone
August is over

Now we wait
Cause August had to end
All our bags are packed

xoxo.~

608

2008-08-11T07:18:00.003-04:00

So, i'm sitting in the airport right now watching the sun get higher in the sky. my flight leaves at 9:10 a.m. I'm anxious. I couldn't finish my sandwich this morning. I miss him, so much. before i left, i promised myself this would be the best vacation ever, and it was. if i could go back, i'd do it all over again, (yes, including sunday the 13th. xD) the only thing i think i'd change would be the fact that i found him (again) only 2 weeks ago. it seems more like it's been 2 months. he's gotten to me in a way i didnt think anyone ever could. it sucks balls (excuse my french) that i have to leave like this, but i understand my responsibility to my future. besides, how will he miss me if im not gone? im trying my hardest not to cry, and my battery is low, so i'm gonna go read to see if i can distract myself. i love you all, more than you know. i'll miss you. always, yours truly.
xoxo~

so long, so long-

2008-08-08T14:51:00.003-04:00

been a while, hasn't it?
i know, i´m sorry. but here goes
men ! fri, aug. 1, 2008. 10 days before i leave, at 10 o clock at night, knowing full well that i cant go out at night (supposedly; at least, that was the case when he asked about it the first week.), HE calls ME. AND asks me out! this is a never before seen event. he called me ! not that i'm happy about it; more like nervous, not to mention concerned about myself and my emotional well being. i was making such good progress this past week, and then boom!. there he is. calling me and asking what i'm doing. the funny thing is, i told him i was trying to get over him, but he says "he doesnt want that to happen". like we have a future. im leaving in TEN DAYS. im trying to get over you. what part of that dont you understand? why do you insist on constantly toying with my emotions ? he makes me fumble. he makes me feel insecure. true, his grip on my heart is slowly loosening (no thanks to him >__>). but still, he makes my hands tremble and my heart move so fast it skips beats.

- 45 mins later ...
it's done. no more trying to convince me otherwise. we're officially friends. nothing more. the best part is, i was working towards it, so the huge heartbreak i was expecting was more of a little crack. luckily, a lot of that progress is due to someone else ;].

car underwater - monday, august 4, 2008.
you know how they say if you have a near death experience, your whole life flashes before your eyes? well, it's not true. your whole life doesn't flash before your eyes, but in the aftermoments, you realize how close you were to losing it, and how important it is to you, and all you have left to do. you think about everything you didn't say, and everyone you didn't say it to. don't worry, i won't get all philosophical and religious on you, i'm just telling it how it is. for me, anyway.

Y AYER...
porfin conoci a Dals ! tan linda. comimos, hablamos, charlamos, pasamos un rato, tiramos fotos, gozamos, y nos fuimos.
much love !

xoxo~

revision!

2008-07-24T19:03:00.002-04:00

ok. al parecer, hemos pasado a tirarnos puyas por blogs ! entonces, voy a repetir lo ke dice en mi primer post :
"its the truth.
sorry in advance if you're offended by what i write."
i wasn't complaining. fue una simple observacion. guys go after what they like.
so ! estoi en campania para ke me dejen salir de noche. i mean, dude. you cut my trip short by 2 WEEKS, and i cant go out at night ? yeah, ok, that'll work out. son 18 anios ke voy a cumplir, no 8. yo creo, tal vez, ke soy capaz de salir de noche sin ke me pase nada. im going to the movies today. period.
that's all.
xoxo

2 things.

2008-07-20T19:25:00.005-04:00

ok. so it's been a week. ;] hi. how are you? nice to talk to you again. how have you been?
i have two things to talk about.
number one: our little adventure on thursday. Ary and i were planning on going to the beach this past weekend. i only brought one bathing suit with me, and Ary only has one that will fit (d cup. ^__^. sorry hun;P)anywho, us being girls, we can't spend 3 days at the beach with only one bathing suit. so Alannah came to pick us up, we went to Vicotr con K's house, and he took us to Diamond and then Plaza Central. In search of swimsuits ! ;P na, entonce llamo Arianna y me acolde del tatuaje en henna ke ella tiene, (o tenia, no se si ya se ke kito). y yo, siendo yo, me antoje de uno. y le dije a Victor con K ke fueramos a hacernolos. me hice una estrellita, Ary se hizo una estrellita, y Victor con K se hizo un remolino en la espalda. KE RD$400 pesos MAS PENDEJOS. ya al otro dia se borro !
entonces. cuando salimos de plaza, el carro no kiso prender. Victor con K habia dejad las luces prendidas ;P pero un panita en un civic verde nos ayudo;P Thanks dude !
ah; y la mama de Ary taba llamando el dia entero ke fueramo ya xD.
esa fue nuestra aventura ilicita. ;P
number two: this is entre familia. si no conoces mi familia, no sigas leyendo pk no vas a entender. nicole: es total y completamente verdad nuestra teoria sobre Ary. every time the tree of us go out together, it's always her they're after. it's so true ! and usually, it's not so bad, pk andamo las 3 juntas, pero this weekend i had to put up with it by myself. remind me never to do that again >_>. good news is; i made 3 new friends!<3
i think that's about it.

xoxo

waiting game

2008-07-07T22:23:00.004-04:00

I know you're there. I can feel you breathing. You're the brightest hope in my summer, and yet, I'm not even on your mind half the time. Why is it that the best love is unrequited? This summer is supposed to be about heat; long, hot days, and even longer nights. Summer scents, and warm touches. Will you? Won't you? I'd love to know, so I can stop wasting my time waiting for something I know is bad for me. You think I don't know you'll hurt me?
Am I sick? That I'd rather have you break my heart again, than not have you at all? So yes. Go ahead. Break my heart; you already did it once. I survived well enough. In fact, I expect it of you.
xoxo~

orientation!

2008-06-27T17:57:00.002-04:00

so, i just got back from orientation. it was great =) no reason for me to be nervous at all. everyone was nice, and friendly (i'm not going to bore you with all the dirty details ^__^)~
i made some friends =) met my teachers, saw my schedule, got my id, blah blah blah.
it was great. =D
that was the last thing i had to do before i leave
and it's done ! <33
so guess who's going home for the summer ?
much love ~
;*

nostalgia

2008-06-21T00:13:00.004-04:00

haha
i was looking through my old blog
(yes i know, myspace. xD)
and i found a whole bunch of cool stuff.!:

things i miss

arianna's drama.
viktor's random visits.
italo pretending to be my boyfriend in school.
going to robertico's house, just to hang out.
summer '05.
spring break '07.
staying out til 2 in the morning.
laying in the middle of the street to look at the moon.
taking my mom's SUV and lying about where i was going.
the model un.
barcelo bavaro beach resort.
talking on the phone with victor q.
jorge's eyes.
stealing the phone at night to talk to haku.
drunk dialing at 1:55 am.
teacher de noriega's english class.
the reflection of the sun in the pool on a really hot day.
parties at home, then cleaning up afterwards.
the stairs at school.
sleeping over at jochy and nicky's house.
especially my cousin jochy.<3

thursday july 31, 2007

note;

js.

take it all back now.
the things i gave, like the taste of my kiss on your lips.
i miss that now.
i can't try any harder than i do..
all the reasons i gave, excuses i made for you,
i'm broken in two.
touch me now,
i want to feel something real.
i'm so in love with what we were
i'm not breathing, i'm suffocating without you.
do you feel it too ?
all the things left undiscovered leave me empty and left to wonder.
i need you.

friends in high places.

to the fantastic four (also known as arianna, cesar, victor con k, y robertico):
i've never really been any good with words. sometimes it's hard to say how i feel, so jack's mannequin kinda gave me an idea. points if you can recognize all the songs.

note to self: i miss you terribly.
you woke up a part of me i never knew, and i never felt so invincible. what took me so far away ? you're lost for tonight again.
i can see that you're not beside me, but i still feel you shine inside me.
you're my crutch when it's all to hard to bear. without you here, i could not be anywhere.
and you don't know how hard i've tried to convince myself that i can easily forget, but you left this feeling here inside me, one that never fails to find me.
we laughed, we cried, and all the while we felt so alive. you held my hands and you made me see what it could feel like.
when we were together, i don't want that feeling to ever end. looking back, feel the sun and remember that even though time has come to pass, some things always last.
my faith in you could move these mountains i am driving through. it's times like these i wish i could teleport to you, cause then we wouldn't have an issue.
a thousand miles seems pretty far but they've got trains and planes and cars, i'd walk to you if i had no other way.
don't worry about the distance, i'm right there if you get lonely.
as i rearrange the songs again this mix could burn a hole in anyone, but it was you i was thinking of.
so i'll waste these nights for awhile, but i'll be holding on to you forever.
i love you all.

;]

xoxo.

floors

2008-06-20T00:09:00.003-04:00

right now, i'm sitting on the floor in my closet. i'm hiding form my mother, because apparently, even though i'm 17 years old, a high school graduate, entering the honors pre med program in college in september, AND i'm on vacation, i still have a bedtime. she's been on my case too much recently, and i can't talk to her about it because she'll get pissed off and then i will and i really don't need a reason for her to cancel my flight.
true, if she catches me here, i'm dead. but i just don't get what's with her lately. it's like i turned 7, not 17. at first it was like, ok, she's acting funny. but now it's like, get off my back! i'd love to know what she's going to do when i move out.
don't get me wrong, i have a really good relationship with my mother. we're close, most of the time. except when she gets like this.
oh, and, you remember "so five minutes ago", in march?
apparently, he's not.
it's on again. and i can't seem to get a handle on my emotions when it comes to him.
he asked me directly, what i wanted to do this summer. i still don't know what i'm going to tell him. i don't think i will know until i'm standing in front of him and he's waiting for an answer.
i had a very interesting conversation with someone, and he sort of ruffled my feathers a bit.:

Antonio .::. says:
gelIzzLe
foshizzle?
lol.
have a few Q for you.
the first.
- Gelαny (D) . says:
shoot
Antonio .::. says:
If you had a gift, a supernaturalcapacity, what would that be and why?
- Gelαny (D) . says:
telekinesis. pk you can pretty much do anything with it, even fly.
next question =)
Antonio .::. says:
What is Love for you and what would you sacrifice for it?
- Gelαny (D) . says:
ooh
thats a tough one
Antonio .::. says:
think
then answer.
- Gelαny (D) . says:
love is.. everything. romantic love, is not quite knowing what you like about someone, and caring about them for the good things and the bad things all the same. friendship love is catching someone when the fall, and knowing that that person would do the same, or more, for you. family love is hating someone's guts, but not being able to live without them.
phew !
ok
for friends and family, i'd sacrifice anything. for romantic love, anything but friends and family.
Antonio .::. says:
great job.
- Gelαny (D) . says:
that was hard =/
Antonio .::. says:
quite rhyme
:P
You see.
Love is one thing.
to Love is another
You don't say you see or know love.
You feel it.
When you love, is not about you anymore
if you trully love of course
- Gelαny (D) . says:
when you love, as long as the other person is truly happy, then so are you
Antonio .::. says:
if that person cries, you drown.
if that person is happy, you feel glorious.
- Gelαny (D) . says:
ok
i cant talk about this right now
yo toi pasando por una love crisis.
Antonio .::. says:
:-O
- Gelαny (D) . says:
this is not going down well for me.

~
there's also this song i can totally relate to:
all again for you - we the kings.

I couldn't sleep last night
I walked alone
On the beach
Where we always used to go
When we couldn't hook up at home

I thought of you
And the time we jumped the fence
Pool-side, stripped down
We dove right in
And the cops chased us again

When you were mine
You know...

We had it all in front of us
You were the one
I was in love
But you always hurt
the one you lost
I couldn't get enough

You were everything
That's bad for me
Make no apologies
I'm crushed...
Black and blue
But you know
I'd do it all again for you

Today, dressed up
In designer drugs
Dedicated to the one
I'll always love
The one who really messed me up

I let you take the wheel
And the driver's seat
Strapped in
So you get the best of me
Now what's left are the memories

When you were mine
You know...

I am standing in the ocean rain
Rough and ready
For your deadly game
I've got nowhere else to go

got any suggestions ? =/

xoxo~

5th & 42nd

2008-06-16T15:02:00.002-04:00

so !
i spent last week in new york.
monday i spent the day in the city. went to the museum of modern art, did some shopping, saw a friend. after that, it was all family stuff.
my dad bought my flight !!
im not saying when
i want it to be a surprise =D
omgsh. i cant waitt !
i get there around 9 pm, on a weekday.
i really don't have much to say for myself. i've been very lazy lately,
so there's nothing much to tell.
=)

detention.

2008-05-30T10:59:00.003-04:00

it's the last day of school
i was two minutes late
and i got detention.
on THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL
jeez. you'd think they'd give us a break. i have an appointment at the doctor's at 2:45, and detention lets out at 3. AND they've pulled the fire alarm 5 times in the last 3 days. thrice today. at first it was kind of cool but the last time it was really annoying.
im so glad to finally be done
12 years of education
poof !

lol
xoxo

Disney

2008-05-28T20:30:00.009-04:00

so, there's this really awesome photographer, Annie Leibovitz? ever heard of her? well, she's the shiznit. i follow her images in vanity fair, they're really cool. she's doing Disney's Year of A Million Dreams campaign, and the series is called Disney's Dream Portrait Series. they're really mag. here's a taste:

Jennifer Lopez as Jasmine and Marc Anthony as Aladdin

Beyonce as Alice, Lyle Lovett as the March Hare and Oliver Platt as the Mad Hatter.

Julianne Moore as Ariel and Michael Phelps as a Merman.

Scarlett Johansson as Cinderella.

Julie Andrews as The Blue Fairy (Pinocchio) and Abigail Breslie as Fira (Disney Fairies).

Whoopi Goldberg as the Genie (Aladdin).

Roger Federer as King Arthur.

Mikhail Baryshnikov as Peter Pan, Gisele Bündchen as Wendy and Tina Fey as Tinkerbell.(<333)

Jessica Biel as Pocahontas.

David Beckham as Prince Phillip (Sleeping Beauty).

Rachel Weisz as Snow White.

see ?
told you they were awesome.
xoxo

so yeah

2008-05-27T20:26:00.002-04:00

i just finished doing my last homework of my high school education.
how bout that ?;D
graduation is in two weeks, and i get out friday.

so, when are you going to tell me who you are ?
cuz
im kind of dying to know.
=).
xoxo

senior prom.

2008-05-17T13:32:00.005-04:00

!
im so tired
my legs hurt from thigh to toes.
im just going to give you the highlights, starting yesterday afternoon.
mom got a flat tire on the way to pick me up from school.
we had to find flowers, because i went with two other girls and a guy and the girls said we were getting each other flowers.
i went home, washed my hair and dried it and used a curling iron.
i packed an overnight bag.
my mom fixed my dress because it was too big for me.
i went over to Girl#1's house, and we all left.
we arrived at the Sheraton Fercroft Hotel in Danvers.
prom started at 7.
we got brethalyzed ;].
we sat down at a table and were kind of bored at first but then they served dinner (chicken and penne with broccoli, large cheese ravioli, garlic bread, salad.)
the music started playing. the first two songs were for couples >_>.
then they played real music, and i only sat out the songs that were for couples, and the soulja boy song.
give or take a few more. point is, i danced so much i dont think i've ever danced as much in my life.
then at 11:30 we had to get our bags and get on the bus for afterprom.
we went to the boston sports club.
there was a pool, and 3 tennis courts. one empty, one set up for tennis, one set up for jousting and sumo wrestling, and a big slide/racetrack thing at the end of the room.
there was more food (chinese, chips, candy, soda, coffee). we walked around at first, then some of us went into the pool, some of us went to the courts.
at around 1:30, they told us that a hynpnotist was going to perform.
i got hypnotised. =) then he selected a group of 18 and really set them in a deep trance.
i will tell you that i am the biggest skeptic when it comes to that kind of stuff, but he did it to me before the group of 18, and i think i could be convinced.
after that i walked around some more, chatted,
took a ton of pictures (check em out on facebook or myspace.)
i got in the pool for a while.
we found an unopened trojan there xD.
then the buses were loading
i lost my rechargable batteries (goshdarn it.>=[)
got on the bus. went to the high school. had breakfast (fruit, coffee, bagels)
sat in the bleachers. chatted. called my mom.
gave someone a hug. gave a stranger a handshake (he was like "i dont even know you", i was like "you're really mean.".)
left
came home around 5:15
glorious wonderful sleep.
the end =)
i will now take this moment to thank all of you who pressured me in to going.
it was definitely worth it.
arianna
nicole
shade (five stars here)
ary
victor con k
beatriz (even though you didn't go)
edu *
alan
victor q.
andres e.
anaima
nicolle
jurelis
jarry
*this list will be updated periodically, i just cant think of them all right now.

xoxo

dear you,

2008-05-16T10:37:00.004-04:00

lol
i called him right before he left for DR. we're good.
thanks ... i hope i do have fun.
arianna & nicole: im going for you.
and
i probably will be very surprised. i suck at guessing games;D
but
you probably know this by now, seeing as i still have no clue who you are.
anyway, i hope things are going well for you.
say hi to your mom for me =].

so i'm in school
and
i'm technically not supposed to be on here.
my school has like all these blocked websites so kids don't go on them during school
like
no myspace
no facebook
no youtube
nothing XD
only they do allow blogger.com because some of the theachers have homework blogs and the librarian has a blog for websites and stuff like that.
so here i am : )
xoxo

dear anonymous,

2008-05-14T17:10:00.002-04:00

thank you so much.
i love the beatles! i'm putting the playlist on my ipod as "songs about anonymous".
(i have a thing about playlists)
and
i haven't talked to V2, yet. i am going to call him tomorrow, because he leaves for DR on friday.
the comment about friends not being able to have that kind of relationship without being in love with each other didnt bother me, it was something he said after about me not finding anyone because i'm looking too hard. that was what really hurt my feelings, because the guy doesn't really know me, he just knows i talk to V2 a lot.
lol trust me, it's not there
conscious or subconscious. =)
thanks for the advice ;D
how are things with you? i hope you aren't too busy
or
it's not a stressful busy.
stress makes you sick, you know.

oh,
and,
to anyone else who reads the page,
turns out
i am going to prom.

x's & o's.

all i have to do

2008-05-10T23:39:00.005-04:00

I had the strangest dream last night. He (mr. he-has-potential-but-doesn't-have-a-clue) was there.
Let's call him A for now. So was his girlfriend. We can call her Z for now. So,
I was walking down some street (it seemed to me that it was in Orlando), and it was near the beach (impossible i know, but it's my dream, so can it), and I stopped on a corner, and in front was the beach, and to my left was a white house with a white fence. The street corner was Strawberry Blvd and Ocean Ave. (eh arianna ? ;P) So, along comes A and, oh-my-gosh (note the sarcasm) "please go to prom, i want you to be there with me." (embarrassing, I know >_>) blah blah, Z is like so pissed off, but we end up being friends. anywho, nothing else really happened (that i'm willing to share with you ;]).
i just thought it was a strange dream is all.
SO
prom is on friday =)
am i going? i dont think so, pal.
why? are you taking me? >__>
oh
so
V2 and i had a huge fight yesterday. one of his friends really hurt my feelings. im not holding it against him, he was telling the truth. i just don't think it was any of his business. and at first, i wasn't mad at V2. i think he's mad at me though.
according to his friend, "dos personas no pueden tener una relacion por telefono, por mensajito, y por msn, y no ta enamorao"
which is completely ridiculous. can you not conceive of the idea of two people being friends?
i hate being mad.
so now i can't call him, can't text him, can't IM him.
there goes my social life >_>.

failure

2008-05-04T21:43:00.003-04:00

it weighs heavy
on both mind and body,
but also on the heart.
i feel like i've disappointed everyone on the face of the earth.
part of my future depended on that one thing,
and i failed at it.
i feel so exhausted,
emotionally. i know, i'm such a girl.
but, oh, don't worry. i won't tell you what happened. i can't.
it'll be all right. it always is. right?
so,
how are things with you? how's your family?
how's your heart?
do you miss me?
do i ever cross your mind? even as a fleeting thought? a memory, held so treasured in my mind; do you remember?
do you even care?
will you care?
im always going back and forth with you.
an emotional roller coaster.
you won't want to deal with me.
i'm too.. what was it?
"difficult".
it hurts, but of course, it wouldn't be real if it didn't.
i hope you're very happy,
wherever you are.
i'll see you again.
i know i will.
i wonder what will happen then.

"If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down."
-Mary Pickford.

let it happen

2008-04-14T21:22:00.002-04:00

have you ever done something
or accomplished something, and it's something that you're really really proud of, that you put a lot of effort into, and shown it to someone else?
it's great to get encouraged and applauded for your work. you feel like nothing can take you down.
but, have you ever had the opposite happen? have you worked hard, only to be put down by a few offhand comments?
comments that come from the only person whose approval you seek?
it hurts, doesn't it? like all the effort and hard work and determination was for nothing.
some people don't realize how hurtful they can be. i'll be the first to admit, i wasn't the nicest person in the world, but people made me realize that, so i've changed (or at least, tried to).
i've learned to ignore. pick and choose what i let influence me. it hurts, at the moment he's saying the words, and maybe for ten or fifteen minutes after. but then, i look back and think, i did it for myself. not for him, not for my mom, but for me.

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."
-Walt Disney.

sorry !

2008-04-10T20:25:00.003-04:00

please forgive my neglect =]
we were in the process of moving, so i had no access to the internet.
while i was away, i went to see UMass Dartmouth, and explore my major.
they tend to lean towards marine biology, but they have a really good pre-professional program. very rigorous.
i'm sure i'll be way to busy for my first to years to have any... distractions.
only five more weeks of school left! have you gotten your prom dresses yet?
and does anyone else consider it complete stupidity to spend $400 on a dress you'll never wear again? or money on a limo you won't even get to ride twice, if you're going to afterprom? but then, that could be just me. i dont think you need a $400 dress or a stretch limo to spend a night with your friends having fun.
i think i'll take the cash and buy myself a ticket out of here. ;]

wrm

2008-03-25T17:46:00.001-04:00

i saw an ant today !
omg
i was so excited
critters are coming out ~
and the ducks are back on the lake
it means the cold is going awayy ;DD

LTM

2008-03-21T19:24:00.007-04:00

shade (shaw-DAY) and i went to the mall today. we saw NEVER BACK DOWN which was awesome (loved the soundtrack btw) and snuck in to see SHUTTER (which sucked. bad ripoff of the ring 2 and the grudge.)

then we went to old navy. i got this awesome pink bag. and their jeans don't fit me anymore ! size 0 was too big =S but then i found a cool shirt in the child's section.>__<
then we got some ice cream, and looked around some more. at the end, we went to claire's to wait for her mom to pick us up
i had fun ^__^.

lbrry

2008-03-20T16:34:00.004-04:00

this was our recess at the library. yes, we were very bored. ^___^

antz

2008-03-19T13:59:00.002-04:00

i haven't seen a single ant in all the time i've been in MA.
NOT ONE.
isnt that odd ?
i kind of miss ants. i used to watch them crawling.
that's how bored i am right now.
im on the phone ! with viks.

sweet november.

2008-03-13T17:56:00.000-04:00

do NOT comment. xD

el ninio bolsa

2008-03-12T22:11:00.002-04:00

the little fat dude with the brown hoodie
believe it or not
is my little brother,
so here it is
for your entertainment:

:]

so five minutes ago.

2008-03-08T22:43:00.002-05:00

i'm so over it now
it feels so good. like relief and happiness and contentment and excitement and vindication and a million different feelings all rolled into one.
have you ever felt like that ?
like the world is suddenly a tiny place in front of you
and you feel like you can fly~
gone, let it wash away.
i'm gone, and when i disappear,
don't expect me back.
want to know a secret ?
i kind of feel like going dancing. ^__^
even if i dont dance,
doesnt mean i cant :P.
i feel like
driving
to everywhere
and nowhere.
following the sun.
not to run away
but just to run.

i'm a firm believer in the thought that everything happens for a reason.
it does.
life wasn't supposed to be easy. where's the fun in that ?
people will disappoint you. you shouldn't let that bring you down.
if not one person, then another.
it just is.
don't let anyone get in the way of you and life.
the only people you need in your life are the ones who need you in theirs.
and i couldn't agree more.
xxoo.

80 days.

2008-03-04T19:35:00.003-05:00

So, Kenya finally reached a peace agreement. The two tribes that were battling over the country, with the help of former UN secretary general, Kofi Annan, agreed that one side's leader will become president, and the other side's leader will become prime minister. isn't that great ? hopefully, there'll be no more genocide in that little corner of the world. ;]
don't worry, i won't post the news here every day. i just thought that was a really good thing that happened there, and decided to share with you. ;D
anyway. only three more months of class !~
=DDD
ninety-something days til graduation <33
then im so outta here ~
i miss my friends like crazy.
oh
and
i might maybe possibly be going
to prom.
i dont want to, though
not with a bunch of strangers.
~
oh well.
thank you for reading,
and *cheesy radio-guy voice*
until next time !.
^__^

P.S. Anonymous Reader ? i'd really like to know who you are, and if you've really known me for 3 years, you should know i suck at guessing games. why post anonymous ? you should also know by now that i always appreciate my friends' thoughts and opinions.

P.P.S. it's going to chew me up inside not knowing who you are. >_<

the H word.

2008-02-28T17:47:00.004-05:00

i want to go to paris.
the high school organizes these things. the french club is going to paris, and the drama club is going to london. i, of course, don't participate in these clubs, so obviously i'm not going.
what's up with the people in this school ? they're all nice to you, but it's so unbelievably superficial. oh sure, of course, i really like you, i think of you as a friend. psh. yeah, right. actions speak louder than words ! i know its not true. that's what every other person says, if they feel like being nice.
so
guess what ?

narcisista por excelencia.

2008-02-11T22:04:00.000-05:00

Dear Dad,
I’m writing to tell you that I carry the weight of your divorce with me every day. It really shouldn’t be as heavy as I make it, because it was gradual, and I had time to get used to it. For the most part, you know you were the one that made the mistake. It’s really clichéd, but you had an affair, and two kids to go along with it. While we lived here in the US, you kept traveling to the Dominican Republic to “finish building our house”. The first time I ever suspected something was wrong with your marriage, was in Dallas, when your… girlfriend, for lack of a better word, called your phone and my mom answered. Abuela, your mother, was there, and I remember her telling my mom that she needed to talk to you about it. I was just a kid, and you were still the best dad anyone could ask for back then.
About a year after we moved to the D.R., Mom found out. I remember that day so well. Everyone was at our house, for a family reunion. Mom overheard you talking to her, and she confronted you about it, and all you could say was “everyone does it, you don’t have anything to complain about”. She really did forgive you that time. Then you brought the kids for us to meet. You brought them like they were little puppies for us to play with, a boy and a girl; one for me, one for my brother. “Here, you have a little sister and another little brother”. I honestly, truly tried to like her, but just the fact that she existed made me so angry at you, and she was such a brat, and I never said a word. Well, I’m saying it now, and it’s only because I know you’ll never read this.
Summer of 2006, I went to New York on vacation, by myself. It was a 2-month trip, and when I left, you still lived at our house. By the time I came back , you weren’t there anymore. Turns out, you never left her like you said you had, and Mom found out you got her pregnant… yet again. It wasn’t enough? I’ll never know what you were thinking when you started that relationship. My mom had told you not to bring those kids to our house anymore, but you brought the little boy, so he could play with my brother. You and my mom had a big fight over it, and I remember being so angry because you just didn’t get how much you were hurting her, and me. It was the first time in all my life I ever raised my voice at you. Do you remember? Did you even care? I was so mad and frustrated that I spent the night at my best friend’s house, even though you didn’t live with us anymore. I didn’t speak to you for 3 weeks. You told me halfway through the third week, and I’ll never forget it: “if you want to me my enemy, I don’t have a problem with it”. Like it was my fault.
I won’t lie and say you never provided for us, because you always gave me everything I asked for, except your acceptance. You could never quite come to terms with me being as independent from you, or different from you as I am. I’m not angry, I don’t resent you, or hate you, because you’re my father, and we don’t get to pick our families. Maybe someday you’ll look back and realize you were wrong. I hope one day I can be able to share this with you, and you’ll try to understand how I feel.
Your daughter,
Gelany.

tunes:
panda - narcisista por excelencia.

happy birthday,

2008-02-05T21:28:00.000-05:00

have you ever missed someone so much
that you feel a physical pain
and sometimes it hurts in such a way
that you just want to fall asleep and never wake up ?
well
that's how i feel right now.
it's her birthday.
my best friend's birthday, and i can't be there with her.
while i was on the phone with her, the rest of them surprised her.
they brought her cake.
i fell apart. it was a good thing she told me she was going to call me back,
because i just couldn't take it.
i miss them. so much that i don't know how i'm going to survive the next five months or so.
it hurts.

smmr

2008-02-04T17:30:00.001-05:00

seriously
days could not progress any slower.
~
yesterday my mother made me go to church, yet again.
i told her it was a waste of my time, considering i don't believe in the institute of the church. it's pointless.
another institute i firmly do not believe in is marriage.
marriage is for hypocrites who pretend to believe in commitment, and love and respect.
love is fickle and controversial. you can love someone one day and hate them the next. true, marriage is necessary. i guess. for procreation? a healthy environment to grow up in? i won't say it doesn't work, or that there's no point in getting married, because sometimes it actually does work, and some couples do stay together. however, from what i've seen, that number is exponentially less than the number of marriages that don't work out.
so
so so so so..
here's the first booklist
i'll keep posting more as i read them.
these books come highly recommended by yours truly:
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
A Midsummer Night's Dream - William Shakespeare
Twilight - Stephenie Meyer
Crank - Ellen Hopkins
Glass - Ellen Hopkins
and, of course
Chesapeake Bay Saga - Nora Roberts.
enjoy~
<3

blog ?

2008-01-31T23:17:00.000-05:00

joining the ranks of the thoroughly self-involved, i have decided to create my blog:).
you may or may not enjoy it. i really couldn't care less. i'm just using it because i need some form of outlet or else i'll probably go crazy.
people piss me off
its the truth.
sorry in advance if you're offended by what i write.
so
with that said..
i shall leave you for tonight.
toodles ~

"truth is generally the best vindication for slander."
-abraham lincoln.